What You Should Not Wear… – Fashion Rules

Are you as tired as me of stupid rules about what we are allowed to wear or not? We all have come across rules or even lists of what we apparently should and should not wear. These rules can present themselves in so many different ways:

  1. “Passed Down Wisdom”: that has been passed down from woman to woman like I have been told so many times, that I should not wear stripes or patterns or that I should avoid short skirts, bodycon dresses or generally tight tops.
  2. School’s Dres Codes: Weird rules imposed by schools about what girls (and also boys) are allowed to wear, most of the time claiming the girls would be too much of a distraction to the boys in their leggings or skirts revealing irresistible kneecaps. This goes to so crazy lengths that girls have been sent home from school for wearing leggings. (1, 2, 3)
  3. Social media comments: Maybe you came across the beautiful picture of “What Laura Loves”  in a stunning jumpsuit on the Simply Be Facebook Page which was taken apart by mean commenters claiming she should not wear a jumpsuit as it was unflattering
  4. The Press: one of the most recent examples was the Oprah magazine stating that you should only wear a crop top if(AND ONLY IF as they repeat) you have a flat stomach… I already had my rant about this specific article here

Oprah, Crfop Tops Only For Flat Stomach

Simply be has recently put together an eye-opening list of all the confusing rules they came across…

Completely Arbitrary Or Even Plain False

These rules are completely arbitrary and even the assumptions they are based on are sometimes even plain false.  The myth for example that horizontal stripes make you bigger has been debunked in multiple studies. A 2008 study even found that horizontal stripes make you appear 6% thinner than in vertical stripes. Who decided what is flattering?

What Is So Wrong With Clothes That Don’t Slim Us Down?

Even if horizontal stripes would make you look fatter, what is so inherently wrong with that? Why are we so obsessed with “flattering”? Are we plus-size ladies and body-positivity lovers still so deeply convinced that  being big is such an awful thing that it needs to be concealed, hidden?

If we want to move plus size fashion to the next level we have to learn to step away from our obsession with “flattering” and “slimming”. I personally believe that one thing we have to learn is, that flattering is not a synonym to slimming.

Dress Codes – Often Demeaning For Both Genders

It is obvious that for school or the workplace we should all follow some common sense dress codes. Ultimately you just should not wear you clubbing clothes to your school or workplace.

However, a dress code that go so far as to ban leggings, the visibility of bra straps (tank tops/strappy tops) or similar are demeaning for both genders. These rules assume that boys would be unable of controlling themselves in the view of some ankles or a bra strap shame the girls for completely innocent clothes choices

What Can We Do?

When thinking about what we can do about those stupid rules and misconceptions there is one simple answer.  Break the rules, break them at every occasion you get, and be visible doing it. That way we can break down the expectations of us trying to stay invisible and to hide our rolls and extra pounds at all costs. Show your glorious body in whatever you like to wear!

Simply Be Project – Break The Rules

So when Simply Be shared with me their asked me if I wanted to participate in their recent project aiming to break those rules down following  their recent blog post about those rules, I was immediately in. They were so nice to supply me with some pieces from their line to go and break some rules. A project right after my liking.

Breaking the rules!

So here is a selection of outfits breaking all the rules I could think of featuring past outfits and the lovely dresses that i was supplied by Simply Be

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Maxi Dresses

Halloween Backdrops for photographyLace Trim Jersey Maxi Dress – Simply Be*

barefoot collage with shadowFatPhRocks  – Dress Eddie Dress In Purple*
Belt: 
Accessorize – Old Season
Original Post

 

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Short Dresses!

Asos Curve Black Peplum Dress

Club L Plus Size Lace Panel Peplum Dress – Asos Curve
Shoes – Deichmann
Original Post

Lisa in missguidedDress – Missguided
Original Post

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Tight Clothing

Boohoo Nadia Zip Front Dress & Embossed HoodieNadia Blue Front Zip Dress – Boohoo*
Plus Nadia Embossed Sleeeve Hoodie – Boohoo
Mid Heel Pumps Electric Blue – Ebay
Original Post

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Bikinis/Expose Their Stomachs

6zmbUZ5 (1)Elomi Swim Bra – Simply Be
Mary Of Sweden High Waisted Bikini Brief – JD Williams

Magisculpt Tropical Print Plus Size BikiniMagisculpt Tropical Bikini – Simply Be

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Busy Patterns

Anna Scholz - Print Peplum Dress2

Anna Scholz Print Peplum Dress – Simply Be
Gold Pumps – Deichmann
Original Post


340

338Dress – Simply Be*
Leggings – Simply Be

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Skinny Jeans


DSC04240-2Extreme Dip Back TopBoohoo
Body – Boohoo
Skinny Jeans –  very old season George at Asda
Stiletto Plateau Heels – Deichmann
Grey Clubmaster Glasses* – Specspost
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CpLV3jRKimono: Fringed Multi Tropical Print Sheer Kimono – Yours Clothing
Top: Black Ribbed Cotton VestYours Clothing
Denim Leggings: Simply Be sale item
Shoes: Deichmann sale item
 Original Post

 

 

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Jumpsuits

DSC00711-MOTIONJumpsuit With Cold Shoulder – Asos Curve
Original Post

AaEU5jGlJumpsuit: New Look Inspire – Asos £16 (was £22.99)
Shoes: Missguided £24.99
Belt: Accessorize (Old Season)
Original Post

 

 

 Fat Girls Should Not Expose Their Upper Arms

B1peGasVintage Dress – Lady Vintage
Original Post



MEpcWD3

Vintage Dress – Lady Vintage
Original Post

Fat Girls Should Not Wear Crop Tops

stairs-plus-size-crop-top-asos-missguided2Scuba Crop Top Asos Curve
Skater Skirt –
Missguided (similar)
High Heels –
Missguided
Watch
Moto 360 – Motorola (Amazon)
GlassesSpecspost
Original Post

 

 

Final Words

What Do You Think?

Which “rule” is your personal pet hate? Do you have a favourite rule-breaking outfit? I would love to see it! Why do you think we are so obsessed with “flattering”? I would love to hear from you!

 

Lots of love

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I am Ms Manchester Curve 2016

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Ms British Beauty Curve

I am happy to announce that I have been named Ms Manchester Curve 2016 and that through that I will be representing Manchester this year in the annual Miss British Beauty Curve body positivity pageant.

 

I am proud to be representing Manchester and very flattered by the honour to have been selected for this title and I would like to thank my sponsors Nothing But Epic and Florentyna Dawn for believing in me and sponsoring me.

Trying On The Ms British Beauty Curve Crown For Size :)
Trying On The Ms British Beauty Curve Crown For Size 🙂

A Big Step For Me

As a woman who has struggled so many years with my own appearance this is a very important step for me and I am more than happy to be representing self love and the fact that beauty has no size.

In my life I have gone through dozens of diets always thinking that happiness might be around that corner only as soon as the scale would show that magical number that would put my BMI in the normal range.

Even when I  had lost more than 30 kilos (close to 5 stone, for my British friends), was fit enough to run a half-marathon and had more than healthy test results at the doctor,I still hated myself. Why? That is something I will describe in a little more detail in a future post.

Lisa Runs Halfmarathon In 2009

Don’t Put Your Life On Hold

The bottom line is that it took me a long time to understand that whatever the label in my clothes says and whatever my scales says is irrelevant. The idea that everything will suddenly be great once you reach a magic number in your clothes or your scale is wrong. By following this idea you will put your live on hold forever.

Be The Best Version Of Yourself

What matters personally for me, is striving every day to be the best version of myself, that I can be today; may that be in be in health, professionally or following my hobbies. And I am definately looking fabulous doing that!

Reaching More Women With This Message

I am very happy that the Miss British Beauty Curve will give me a platform to communicate this message to other women who might still be in the position of putting themselves down and waiting for their lives to start, that I was in before I realised I was worthy of self-love and to live my life.

And so are you beautiful girl! Go out there and have a killer day!

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Named One Of Top 50 UK Fashion Blogs

A True Honour

Wow, there are apparently an approximate 90.000 fashion bloggers in the UK, really a mind-boggling number. The more flattering and the more of a surprise it is to hear that Rebateszone have named me one of the top 50 beauty bloggers. An even bigger surprise was that even within this list Rebastezone placed me at #17 a real honour.

 

So Many People Who Deserve It Just As Much

I am more than honoured but at the same time feel at the edge of saying it is an undeserved honour as from the top of my head I could probably from the top of my head mention more than 17 amazing plus size fashion bloggers that I personally adore and that would deserve this at least as much as me.

 

Rebatezone’s Top 50 Fashion Bloggers

See the full list of all 50 bloggers here:

Top 50 Fashion Bloggers In UK

Source: rebateszone.com

 

A Personal List

And here is a personal (non exhaustive) list of blogges that deserve at least as much attention:

(In no specific order)

 

What Do You Think?

What are your favourite fashion blogs?

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Boohoo I Am Skint – Plus-Size Summer Essential Bargains

No Shopping Sprees For Me This Summer

This summer I am a little broke… So unfortunately there was no way I could have done any big summer clothes hauls. Over the whole summer I was watching with This summer I am a little broke… So unfortunately there was no way I could have done any big summer clothes hauls.

A Bit Jealous Of The Colourful New Wardrobes

Over the whole summer I was watching other fashion bloggerswith a slight sense of jealousy  how they were showing off their lovely summer dresses. I am particularly jealous my newest blogger crush and discovery Boardroom Blonde. Just look at how colourful and bright her wardrobe is:

Screenshot from 2015-08-31 02:31:18

Woohoo – A Mini Haul Is Possible

So I was very, very happy when I once again was online window shopping when Boohoo came to the rescue. Boohoo in general offers very, very affordable clothing that even their plus size section does really deserve the label fast fashion, unlike the plus size section of some other retailers..

Bargains In The Summer Essential Section

A lot of their Summer Essentials section is currently up to 60% reduced and there are some real bargains in there.

I bought all of the below items for only £29

collection-shadow

Plus Nicola Printed Wide Leg Trouser – £4 (was 20)
Plus Rebecca Colour Block Skater Dress – black or blue- £5 (was £18)
Plus Natalie Side Slit T Shirt Maxi Dress – black or blue – £8 (was 16)
Plus Macy Strappy Front Bodysuit – black, grey, white – £12 (full price)

There are also lot’s of other lovely pieces in the sale  that I unfortunately had to leave behind, next to some lovely full price jumpsuits. Too many to all call them out. Just check them here. One last piece of the sale I still want to mention specifically is this dip back top (black/white/grey), as will be a central piece of an upcoming OOTD that will be live very soon. I still bought this at full price during the time I was offline you are now able to get this instead for £16 for £10.

Boohoo Dip Hem Plus Size Top

Plus Lizzy Extreme Dip Back Top

Dead Excited

The clothes might not be quite as colourful as Boardroom Blondes amazing wardrobe but I am still so, so looking forward to this little parcel arriving. There is just no better feeling than a bargain ;).

Always Worth To Have A Browse

This find is also once again proof that it  at times can be worth to have a quick browse online or instore even if you expect not to find anything in your price range and boohoo is always a good place for a bargain. Debz recently also has written an interesting post about an unexpected New Look bargain on the high street…

End Of Summer Sales Everywhere

So if you are skint like me at the moment, now is the time to have a good window shop as all the other usual retailers will right now run their end of summer sales or run a sale on their new season pieces to start to push those. So wherever you go boohoo, new look, asos, missguided or any other fast fashion low(ish) price retailer you will have a good chance to make a bargain. My asos summer sale wish list in fact is endless. If there is ever time for a bargain it is now and the boohoo sale is a great place to find one.

What Do You Think?

Have you come across a great bargain? Where and what did you get? Do you have a new blogger crush that we should not miss out on? Please drop me a comment below.

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I have been Offline For A While…

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No Posts For More Than A Month

I have not posted since my last rant when instagram banned the hashtag curvy in mid July. There was the occasional tweet or instagram post, but my blog remained quiet for more than a month after my blogging schedule had been a little erratic for a while already. In the blog world this is basically an eternity and for the google algorithm basically unforgivable, however sometimes, if planned or not and no matter how much I love this blog, live will have to take priority.

Blogging – Not Quite As Glamorous As It Often seems

Most of us bloggers do unfortunately not have the seemingly glamorous lives that our blogs like to make you believe we have. The reality for most of us that next to the blog, we do have a day job, which for most of us is a full time job. Obviously we do also have usual other responsibilities , like looking after the household and garden etc. Responsibilities that everybody has.

Well, And Then Things Happen…

While all of us are busy enough with life just as it is sometimes fate likes to throws some additional things in our life, like a change of career plans, a new project opportunity that needs work & time, a personal health issu or a responsibility for a relative, loved one or friend that for whatever reason might need our support for some time.

We Are Redacting Our Lives For The Online World

All of these responsibilities and life’s little issues are often easily forgotten over the blogposts that show the  happiest and most glamorous parts of our lives. We all like to do this. It would be amazing if all of our lives would be as fabulous as they look on facebook or instagram. It is also so easily forgotten how much time blogging can take, at times it feels like a second full time job.

Sometimes We Just Need To Take The Time

Sometimes, a hobby no matter how much love we have for it, has to be put on hold and we just really need to take the time for ourselves and our loved ones.

For now I do not want to go deeper into details why exactly I had to take this break. Generally I am very happy to share a very large part of my life with you here and am always happy to answer your questions but I believe some things should remain private. So I am very sorry for not having been around for the last few weeks,just let me tell you, I needed this time.

But now I am back! I am busy working away on catching up on a few things that have happened over the last few weeks and also have a few new projects in the works. What I am looking the most forward to though is meeting you all at the Curve Fashion Festival in Manchester this September.

Lots of Love

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Instagram Bans The Hashtag Curvy

Ok girls it is time for another rant. I know I am ranting quite a lot here recently but there is just every other day some thoughtless body shaming or other stupidity going on. So recently I just really have to vent… a lot.

 

Its Instagram, Again

So what has happened this time? This time it’s Instagram, again. After banning the female nipple, pubic hair peeking our of a bathing suit, women on their period and not to forget being one of the breastfeeding nazis (read more here). Not to forget to time and again take down bra selfies of women above a size 10 while those of skinny women are fine. It is now shame to get shame people based on their bodies once again, as they have now put the word #curvy on their blacklist, which will not allow you to search for this hashtag anymore.

So when you as a larger lady post your next cute outfit on Instagram you might need to reconsider what hashtag you want to use if you would like to enable people to find you… Words you can choose now I guess are:

  • fat
  • chubby
  • chunky
  • corpulent
  • rotund
  • overweight

By the way #fatf*** also still works, in case you would like to use thatLovely isn’t it?

 

Why #Curvy Matters For Plus Positivity

But let’s be honest most terms have very negative connotations. The word curvy is a word that finally was a positive word, a word that enabled someone that will have struggled with a very negative body image for a long time finally to start looking at themselves in a more positive light

The debate of what to call your body type when you have a few more kilos on you has been going on for quite a while. And admittedly some #curvy women might be a little more round or boxy and some people really get weirdly angry about people that do not sport a traditional hourglass shape and call themselves curvy.

Does this really matter so much to the rest of the world that the word curvy is getting a second definition if it helps a fair amount of people gain a better and more loving self image. While I personally have made my peace with the word fat and have no problem calling myself a fatty at times, it is still hurtful for many. I am sure the word curvy will have contributed to  giving a lot of women out there a positive self image, they can identify with.

 

Official Reason For Ban – Nudity

So why have they banned it. A spokesperson from Instagram apparently stated that a lot of the images tagged with the hashtag #curvy contained a lot of nudity.

Just the fact that a lot of the images that contained this hashtag apparently also contained a lot of nudity to blanket ban it, while a lot insulting and bullying terms can still readily be used by the trolls out there to put people down, that is just not a jhourglassshapeustification and a completely wrong approach.

 

This Is What Instagram Still Allows

So let’s have a look at what Instagram in it’s endevour to reduce nudity still allows: like #dildo, #sextoys, #asses, #pornos, #bigfatass, #titsandass and #pornstargay, these are fine but #curvy clearly has to go.

 

#dildo, #bigchest, #pornos, #pronostar, #asses, #boobshadmelike, #bigfatass, #titsandass
#dildo, #bigchest, #pornos, #pronostar, #asses, #boobshadmelike, #bigfatass, #titsandass

Next to these sexual terms Instagram also allows you to search for an array of negative and insulting terms regarding overweight that are not only containing a lot of  nudity (depending on the specific term in question) but also are used to bully people some examples are #obese, #fatf***, #fatbitch and #fatpig. Yay for Instagrams priorities.

#obese
#obese

So now let’s have a look at what happens on the other side of the weight range, ins specific: what happens when you search for keywords like skinny or thin. Shouldn’t those attract pretty much the same type of pictures and shouldn’t Instagram react in the exact same way here? Well yes to question 1 (some nudity here as well) but a big fat no to question 2.

#Skinn

 

Instagram obviously is aware that that these pictures are containing an amount of nudity as they warn you when you when you click on the hashtag that the results contain graphic content, so they are aware of the nudity here. However these terms along with other searchable terms like #ana and #mia are known trigger terms  for eating disorders, which Instagram also seems to be aware off and solves with a link to an eating disorder site, but you can still go through and admire the thigh gaps and see all the images of self harm, diet tips and food diaries.

Screenshot_2015-07-15-19-27-35

So bottom line is  they do allow sexual terms, derogatory terms all aspects of the other side of the weight range, despite being aware with all the issues connected with those terms, while a term that has had body positive  effects for so many people gets straight away banned? Wait can somebody please explain that for me? I am not sure I understand their logic.

 

Why Not The Same Type Of Warning?

For some clarification. I am not asking to ban keywords like skinny, but rather ask for same treatment for the word curvy. Couldn’t they have slapped another one of those content warnings on it? If you like even with a link to a nutrition page for help with weight issues if someone at Instagram is worried about the health of the posters.

 

Not sure about their agendy

The bottom line is, I am not quite sure what their agenda is here. I can’t believe that the ultimate goal was to decrease nude pictures and their accessibility. Firstly because of all the offensive terms out there that I can’t believe they have not approached before this one but mainly because there is a very simple and targeted solution if they really wanted to target nude pictures.

 

If It Is About Nudity Why Not Use Nudity Detection Software?

Monitor the keyword with a program scanning for images containing nudity would be the perfect solution… Captain Obvious. Yes these programs do exist, they were made to speed up checking computers of suspects for illegal pornography and the way they work is scanning images for flesh tones (a little more complicated but that is the bottom line). These programs are so good, they can do this even for black and white pictures.

Apply this, with a few employees who check the pictures that it spits out as blocked. If you want to go with even less effort directly block the images or warn the users that their image is going to be blocked within a few hours if they don’t submit it for a review and boom only those are are submitted for being falsely detected need to be reviewd even more time saved. There you go, a fairly non complicated and targeted solution found.

 

An Alternative Movement Is Already There

Luckily the body positive movement is alive and well and there is already a protest movement forming within Instagram that have come up with an alternative term. So you don’t need to use the words from the list above, use the tag #curvee. There are already more than 500 images with this tag and they are getting more by the minute.

Screenshot_2015-07-15-18-47-53

 

What Do You Think

So what do you think about the #curvy search ban? What do you think about Instagrams approach and will you miss the term or do you think it won’t make a big difference? I would love to hear from you.

Lots of love

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